I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
