Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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