my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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