That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
