The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
