take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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