Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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