Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
