I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
