worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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