NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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