i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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