I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
