I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
