Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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