Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
