I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
