So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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