I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
