I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
