there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
