Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
