Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You took a bar mat shot.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
