Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
