This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize