It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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