Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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