What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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