You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize