Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize