I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
