My friends, they love my intelligence
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
