Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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