I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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