But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
