i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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