Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just come out here and I will go home with you...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
