I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
