where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Don't tell me you're on acid again
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
