Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
