so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
