I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
MIDGETS
????
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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