Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize