that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize