Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
