You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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