is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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