We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
