The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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