I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i need some magic done to my vagina
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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