It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
