never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
