I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize