I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
