Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
