OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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