I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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