walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I need moral support for this bender
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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