i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
